San Diego CityBeat - There She Goz http://www.sdcitybeat.com/sandiego/articles.sec-110-1-there-she-goz.html <![CDATA[No, I didn’t drop my smile - Turning the tables on the catcallers]]> Dear catcallers of the world! No, I didn’t drop my smile. No, I won’t show you my tits. And while, yes, I may look fine as hell in my dress, I don’t need you to tell me from your moving vehicle.]]> <![CDATA[Drag shows with Mama - Partying with Amelia and a gay witch doctor]]> So, my mom met a guy. It’s been almost five years since my dad, her husband of 39 years, died of cancer. He was the only man she’d ever been with, having married him when she was just 19 years old. ]]> <![CDATA[Trying to chill out at reiki yoga - My body has a way of ruining the mood for everyone]]> Reiki is a form of natural stress reduction, relaxation and healing invented in 1922 by a Japanese Buddhist (thanks, Internet!).]]> <![CDATA[I broke up like this - Ending a marriage and seeking realness the non-Beyoncé and Jay Z way ]]> The tip of my pen fell upon the paper and I paused. Not because I wasn’t ready to sign the name I’ve hated writing or admitting is legally mine for the last six years, but because it reminded me of another moment.]]> <![CDATA[Thirty, dirty and striving - Revisiting my teenage dreams upon hitting three decades]]> I’m 30 years old. It’s official. That milestone birthday’s been lurking, and when it finally arrived I welcomed it as I’d welcome a never-ending nacho platter—drunkenly and without fear.]]> <![CDATA[Surviving womanhood - How Krav Maga empowered me to fight violence and misogyny ]]> I often find myself in situations where I don’t feel safe, not because I have a penchant for hanging out in sketchy neighborhoods, but because that’s the world women live in. That’s not paranoia.]]> <![CDATA[How Gozie got her groove back - Catching the clap at a dance contest was the best thing ever]]> The thing about most slumps is that they can be conquered, and the moment mine ended came in true Gozer fashion —shaking dat ass hard on a dance floor.]]> <![CDATA[Gooping like Gwyneth - Consciously uncoupling and self-improving, Paltrow-style]]> Breakups blow, especially when there are hurt feelings and disappointment involved and that bitch Gwyneth Paltrow steals your breakup thunder.]]> <![CDATA[Floating in heartbreak - Looking for answers in a sensory-deprivation tank]]> Fans of floatation therapy do it for a number of reasons. Some go for stress relief and to achieve total relaxation, others do it to help with pain. I was there for the third reason floatation therapy has become popular: to allow your brain to be completely clear and focus on something with zero distractions.]]> <![CDATA[A hot date with my vagina - Treat yourself—and your lady business—to some good lovin’]]> I’ll admit that my masturbation sessions usually involve lying in bed in a slovenly fashion with Parks & Recreation paused on the TV. It’s not the sexiest thing in the world.]]> <![CDATA[Women aren’t funny? Bitch, please! - Standing up to tired gender inequality with dick jokes]]> "Women aren’t funny." How many times have we heard that? When I hear it now, it’s like seeing a laserdisc player. I think, This still exists?]]> <![CDATA[Confronting fear by consulting the stars - An astrologist told me to trust my wine-soaked gut]]> Fear is very hard to overcome when you feel vulnerable. Should I even trust my gut? That thing’s probably pickled in wine and high-fructose corn syrup.]]> <![CDATA[Barefoot and stoned in Hippieville - Boulder and my college roommate are delightfully kooky]]> "That one looks like an elephant doing ballet. Or wait, no. It’s playing a guitar. Hold up. I was wrong. It’s a T-Rex smoking a joint. Dude, I’m super-fucking-high." This is a direct quote from an incredibly stoned version of me.]]> <![CDATA[Hunting g-g-g-ghosts with a juggalo paranormal investigator - My mom and Jay Willard keep me curled up at night]]> The spirit world is an integral part of Mexican culture. I grew up listening to creepy ghost stories, terrified but unable to keep from asking, "And then what happened?"]]> <![CDATA[Recharging my toughness with a female fighter - We women have to learn to punch back]]> I’m not just talking boyfriends here. This isn’t some Sex and the City shit. It’s our bosses, our dads, our brothers and some asshole who called us a fat bitch for not crossing the street fast enough. It’s other women who are determined to Regina George us.]]> <![CDATA[When in Rome, jump out of an airplane - Skydiving and triumphing over barfing]]> I’ve never seriously considered skydiving. I get mildly anxious on airplanes, and I regularly have nightmares that involve falling from great heights and landing with a bloody splat onto concrete. Plus, I tend to be a worst-case-scenario type of person.]]> <![CDATA[We are all asking for it - Hanging at a rap concert, the Filner scandal hurt my heart]]> Imagine how conflicted I felt at the Under the Influence of Music festival, which featured a line-up of rappers—including A$AP Rocky, Trinidad James and Wiz Khalifa—who turn chronic pot smoking and objectification of women into club bangers so catchy that a feminist can’t help but twerk that ass.]]> <![CDATA[Ladies and gentlemen, Mary Kay Guitarneau - Rocking out of my 20s at the U.S. Air Guitar Competition]]> What better, more unabashedly juvenile way to begin the end of my 20s than by ripping into a hair-metal jam with nothing but my miming skills and a lack of shame.]]> <![CDATA[Confronting body shame, ass-naked - The day I faced my demons and modeled for a nude-drawing class]]> Fourteen years later, it’s still a daily fight to maintain a sense of empowerment and self-possession over those body issues. Hell, I own multiple girdles and use them regularly.]]> <![CDATA[My guide to summertime binge drinking at local parks - Or, how to be a kid and an adult at the same time]]> It was at a birthday party recently over craft beers and pizza at Pizza Port in Ocean Beach where I heard the woe of many late-20-somethings expressed with sullen nostalgia.]]>