Lorena Gonzalez, CEO of the local labor umbrella group, decided not to fill out paperwork last night to run for president in Arizona after all—but four other locals did, including CityBeat editor David Rolland.
Here's the back story: To get on the Arizona presidential primary ballot, all a qualified candidate's got to do is send in a notarized, two-page nomination form. CityBeat made it even easier by recruiting notary public Sara Honadle from Coast Law Group to certify the documents for free at El Take It Easy in North Park.
El Take It Easy owner Jay Porter submitted his name for the ballot, telling CityBeat he'll make the gimlet the official White House cocktail. Rolland and CityBeat advertising account executive Jason Noble also filled out the paperwork.
Local environmentalist Tommy Hough, however, came prepared with a speech to outline his platform for office:
All the candidates are running on the Republican ballot; the Democrats have foregone a presidential primary since President Barack Obama is the incumbent. The prospect of being associated with the GOP seems to be the reason why several interested leaders, including Gonzalez and local crooner Grampadrew dropped out.
Our friends at Tucson Weekly are also running "Project White House," a reality journalism competition where dark-horse presidential candidates can compete for the paper's endorsement. You can read more about that here.
We had Hough fill out a questionnaire on his candidacy. Here are some of his answers:
Occupation: Media professional and outdoor advocate
Hometown: Pittsburgh, PA
Favorite food: Salmon
99% or 1%: 98.6%
First choice for running mate: Miguel Halloran
Make us a campaign promise: Jan Brewer to be declared an illegal alien.
Spaceships appear above every major U.S. city. How would you handle it?
Embrace and hand over Donald Trump.
Name two people you would bring together in a beer summit.
Grover Norquist and Cornel West
Priority evaluation: Please order the following threats in terms of biggest priority to least.
2. Climate Change
4. Food recalls
6. Al Shabaab
Issues (most cases, the choices were For, Against or 'It's complicated')
Abortion - It's complicated
Guns - It's complicated
Death Penalty - It's complicated
Marijuana - For
Israel or Palestine - It's complicated
Justin Bieber - Against
Waterboarding - Against
Gays in the military - For
Bigger threat to the institution of marriage, gays or Kim Kardashian - Kardashian
Obamacare - For
Boehner's tears: Passionate, wussy or fake? - Passionate
Border fence - Against
English as the U.S. official language - It's complicated
Amnesty for undocumented immigrants - It's complicated
Koch brothers - Against
Net neutrality - For
Increased defense spending - Against
Should text message abbreviations be taught in schools? - No
Childhood vaccinations - For
Disclosure - We asked him to disclose any history that might reflect negatively on his ethics.
- Will not eat sushi
- Will not ride rollercoasters or skydive
- Will re-name Arizona Cardinals the "Arizona Haboob"