Danny Green Quartet
Duncan D. Hunter (right) - Photo by David Rolland
Slushy terrain
County Supervisor Ron Roberts had to wonder how he found himself on the defensive about the Pro Kids program, which helps at-risk youth by teaching them the soothing game of golf. But at a debate sponsored by the Catfish Club in Balboa Park last Friday, challenger Stephen Whitbuattacked Roberts for granting money from his “slush fund” to the “golf club.”
So, Roberts spent a minute or so defending the program. Oops, Whitbusaid, not sheepishly enough. turns out he conflated two other slush-fund recipients, a “golf foundation” and a “gun club.” The one he meant to attack was the gun club, presumably referring to the Santa Margarita Gun Club.
Since the letter G is what caused Whitbuso much confusion, and since G is the seventh letter of the alphabet, we have no choice but to putt—er, shoot seven turds in the Democrat’s direction.
The debate returned to the supervisorial slush fund over and over again, and soon it was Roberts’ turn to be bitten by it. Playing defense, he challenged anyone to find the “political payout” from him handing money over to the San Pasqual Academy, a residential school for foster kids. And the next thing out of his mouth was a suggestion that attendees “watch the news Tuesday night,” when “a certain Chargers quarterback” would help announce something important regarding the academy.
Hey, there’s the political payout! We found it! For obvious reasons, we’ll toss five turds Roberts’ way—one for every interception Philip Rivers has thrown this season.
Oily politician
U.S. Rep. Duncan D. Hunter finally faced his opponents in the only Congressional District 52 debate this election cycle. His opponents, Libertarian Michael Benoit and Democrat Ray Lutz, tried unsuccessfully to force the Republican into more forums with an 11-day hunger strike.
It’s in Hunter’s best interest not to debate, since he so frequently shoves his boot in his mouth (remember “hermaphrodites” in the military?). This time, he blundered after Lutz claimed Iraq was about oil. Hunter denied it, declaring that the U.S. had taken “not a drop of oil from Iraq.”
Bullshit. According to the U.S. Energy Information Administration, the analytical division of the Department of Energy, we have imported 1.3 billion barrels of oil and petroleum products from Iraq since 2004. In July, GlobalPost.com found that the U.S. was Iraq’s “number one oil export partner.”
We serve Hunter 494 turds—one for every thousand barrels we are currently importing from Iraq every day.
Later in the debate, Lutz performed a little dance while singing “I can’t do what I’m supposed to do if there’s a gay over there” to mock Hunter’s opposition to a repeal of the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. That’s worth a single pansy sprouting from a cowpie; it earned Lutz raucous applause, but Hunter used the opportunity to slam him for disrespecting his service as a Marine in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Class clown
Shortly after Republican Orrin Kole announced his candidacy for the Grossmont-Cuyamaca Community College District Board, the corrections officer received a letter from James Mahler, president of the district’s American Federation of Teachers branch. First reported by the San Diego Union-Tribune, the correspondence gave Kole three days to respond to a variety of alleged “transgressions”—including NRA membership and home foreclosures—or else they would assume the information was OK to share with voters. The union supports Kole’s opponents, Edwin Hiel and Debbie Justeson On Oct. 12, Mahler made good on his threat, sending out a mailer that included two baseless attacks. First, it said Kole was rejected by Republican voters when he was on the June ballot for the local party’s central committee. Nope, he starts his term in December. Second, it claimed three times that he’s from out-of-state. Kole says he was born in Orange County.
Mahler does not dispute that Kole was born in California, but he tells CityBeat the candidate lived in Arizona for a “significant period of time.” Kole says that’s also false, however; he had his mail sent to his father’s address in Arizona when he was serving with the military in Iraq.
We issue the union enough poop to fill the carpetbag it tried to hand Kole.
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