Education of the Modern Doctor: Marcus Welby vs. House 
Bud Black (right)
- Photo by Chris Hardy / San Diego Padres
Yes, my team was supposed to be much better than yours. But last weekend, the Dodgers lost two of three games to the Colorado Rockies, dropping them 6.5 games behind the Phillies and effectively ending their season. It was symbolic that Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez was watching from the dugout, having been benched by manager Joe Torre in order to keep him out of harm’s way while the team prepared to ship him to the Chicago White Sox.
It’s against that disappointing backdrop that I officially give myself over to the Padres as a (temporary) fan—and, accordingly, I hereby invite a certain 12-year-old boy with whom I’m acquainted to dance what I’m sure will be a highly amusing victory jig upon my shattered baseball dreams.
Friends have asked me all season long why I couldn’t get behind the Padres, who, despite their recent skid, have far surpassed the wildest preseason predictions of the most delusional fans and produced the most Cinderelly season since—well, just two years ago, actually, when the lowly Tampa Bay Rays shocked the world.
The answer is obvious: My contract as a Dodgers fan forbids it as long as the Dodgers have even the slightest hope of reaching the playoffs. But I’ve given up hope, and since San Diego is my adopted home, I’m ready to begin marching in the Padre Parade. (Ick—I just threw up a little.)
Even my considerable bitterness and rage are no match for the feel-goodery that the Padres have engendered this year. With all-stars Adrian Gonzalez and Heath Bell and 23 other dudes whom casual fans would be hard-pressed to identify, they were supposed to finish last; the only question was:
How embarrassingly bad would they be? But as August turns to September, they are the class of the National League, worse in wins and losses than only the Rays and the New York Yankees in all of baseball.
Young starting pitcher Mat Latos has emerged as a star, leading a steadily successful rotation that includes Jon Garland, Clayton Richard, Wade LeBlanc and Kevin Correia. Who’s Chris Young again? Didn’t Jake Peavy once pitch for this team? The bullpen has been even better, anchored by Bell—arguably the best closer in the game—who’s been assisted by Luke Gregerson and Mike Adams, two no-names who lead the National League in holds, the statistical category that gauges the effectiveness of setup men. As of Monday afternoon, the team’s bullpen earned-run average is 2.81 (best in the league); the starters’ is 3.55 (second best).
The Padres’ pitching is more impressive when you consider the team’s mediocre performance at the plate. Gonzalez is as good as expected, but beyond that, among the hitters that started 2010 with the team, only third baseman Chase Headley is having a decent season. Journeyman outfielder Chris Denorfia has provided an unexpected boost since joining the team on May 17. The Padres rank 25th out of 30 teams in batting average, 20th in runs scored, 22nd in homers, and 26th in slugging percentage. Blech.
With hitting like that, Manager Bud Black deserves some kind of award. It just so happens that there is an award for guys like Black—Manager of the Year—and if Black doesn’t win it, Padres fans should burn the Baseball Writers Association of America to the ground (if that were something one could actually burn to the ground).
Success by teams like the 2010 Padres and the 2008 Rays deliver devastating blows to the idea that you have to spend to win. On Opening Day, the Padres’ payroll was lower than that of every Major League team not based in Pittsburgh. Of the eight most expensive teams, only three have a serious chance of being among the eight that will make the playoffs. If the season ended as of this writing, the teams advancing would rank Nos. 1 (Yankees), 4 (Phillies), 11 (Twins), 15 (Braves), 19 (Reds), 21 (Rays), 27 (Rangers) and 29 (Padres) in Opening Day payroll. In other words, all over the map.
Successful frugality is something I can always get behind. Therefore, as of this week, I am a proud Padres booster.
Of course, if the Dodgers pull off a miraculous comeback, I’ll claim the preceding was written by an imposter.
