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World According To... Parker & the Numberman Apr 18, 2014 A Friday night series where Finest City Improv invites a special guest, or guests, to tell real-life stories that FCI's best improvisers then use to create comedic sketches. This week's special guests are local hip-hop act Parker & the Numberman. 57 other events on Friday, April 18
 
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Wednesday, Aug 25, 2010

GOP Convention and the Duncan Hunter Hunger Strike

CityBeat grades the Prop 20 T-Shirt, DeMaio's Pension Tsunami and Lutz and Benoit's media stunt

By CityBeat Staff

Elephants in the room

The California Republican Party’s fall convention whipped through the Manchester Grand Hyatt in Downtown San Diego last weekend, leaving approximately .6 percent of the economic impact on the city as that other pack of socially awkward nerds who visited back in July.

But the Republicans made up the difference in shwag:

They had about 50 percent of the impact that Comic-Con had on our wardrobe.

Comic-Con netted us two free T-shirts, Cowboys vs. Aliens (an upcoming Harrison Ford picture) and Kaiju Big Battle (basically pro-wrestling with people in giant monster costumes). We walked away from the Hyatt with a free T-shirt promoting conservative positions on two redistricting measures.

The Republican royal-blue shirt is form-fitting with a simple, tasteful double-logo over the left breast: “Yes on 20 Hold Politicians Accountable / No on 27 Stop the Politician Power Grab.” What’s great about the shirt—and earns the effort 47 blossoms—is that nowhere does it date the shirt with “2010.” Since proposition numbers cycle and repeat, and since all initiatives may be described vaguely as power grabs and accountability measures, we can wear it over and over and over again.

What’s horrible about the shirt—and earns the effort 47 cacas—is that it was produced in Nicaragua. Yup, American jobs sure are at the top of the party’s priorities.

Carl’s call

We issue a dozen wilted roses to Christine Kehoe, currently a state Senator, on behalf of San Diego City Councilmember Carl DeMaio. During his presentation on the “Pension Tsunami” at the state Republican convention, he went on the attack for Kehoe’s support of a public-pension spike and the fact that she’s double dipping by collecting both a pension and a state salary.

DeMaio said: “Her name is Sen. Christine Kehoe, and she’s thinking about being the next mayor of San Diego so she can get another pension.”

Several months ago, we reported that San Diego County Democratic Party Chair Jess Durfee was courting Kehoe for a run. While DeMaio might be doing her a favor by naming her opponent No. 1 in 2012, we also issue him a couple of turds for conceding a moment later that she only “might be able to qualify” for an add-on to her pension.

Hungry for attention

The big winners this week are Democrat Ray Lutz and Libertarian Mike Benoit, who embarked on a hunger strike to force Congressmember Duncan D. Hunter into eight debates.

Hunter’s failure to engage stretched what should’ve been a one-day story into 11 days’ worth of national headlines. Among the organizations who covered it: Politico, The Atlantic, The Christian Science Monitor, The New York Times, Newsweek, Gawker and The National Review. Within a few hours of CNN’s piece, Hunter committed to a single debate on Oct. 15.

Lutz and Benoit weren’t completely satisfied—they were hoping for a debate prior to the mailing of absentee ballots— but the stunt had run its course.

We’re going to multiply the 11 days times the number of pounds Lutz and Benoit lost—17 and 16, respectively—so, they get 187 and 176 blossoms. Meanwhile, Hunter earns seven turds, one for each debate he turned down.

However, we’ll retract those turds if Hunter agrees to wrestle Lutz and Benoit while wearing a giant monster costume.

Follow Turds & Blossoms on Twitter—@turdsblossoms— and send tips to davem@sdcitybeat.com.




 
 
 
 
 
 
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