Education of the Modern Doctor: Marcus Welby vs. House 
Lorie Zapf
Bay watch
“Taking Back the South Bay” and “The South Bay Comeback” is what the San Diego County Republicans called their Aug. 9 meeting, an event promoted as a chance for party faithful to get to know candidates running for South Bay seats: Brian Hendry, who’s running against Juan Vargas for state Senate; Rick Powell, who’s challenging incumbent Marty Block for state Assembly; Derrick Roach, who’s taking on Ben Hueso, also for state Assembly; and Nick Popaditch, who’s challenging eight-term Congressmember Bob Filner.
No matter that this bunch doesn’t stand a turkey’s chance in November—the turd-worthiness of this event was its location: The Town & Country hotel in Mission Valley.
Mission Valley? Really? That’s how you’re taking back the South Bay? For being unable to leave the comfort of familiar environs, we issue 15.5 turds, one for each mile between the T&C and Fiesta Hall in Nestor, the venue we think would have been more fitting. Not only is it located in the heart of the South Bay; it also offers amenities like chocolate fountains, tuxedo rentals and a live mariachi band.
Roach broach
Speaking of Derrick Roach, we were rather perplexed by his Aug. 6 tweet: “Just spent the morning at DMV. And these are the people that will be running our health care?” Employees of the California Department of Motor Vehicles are going to be running the U.S. healthcare system? That’s news to us!
Oh wait, it’s not true. But disinformation doesn’t really matter to Roach supporters—the Republican Party is reminding members that Roach was the detective who nabbed sensitive documents from behind an acorn office “following the release of several video tapes in which acorn employees where [sic] promoting numerous illegal activities.”
Yeah, that isn’t true, either: The tapes were found to be severely edited.
We issue Roach a bouquet of de-seeded dandelions as a reminder that bad information can spread like weeds.
Zane gets Zapfed!
During the public-comment period of the final San Diego City Council meeting on the proposed sales-tax increase, Council President Ben Hueso called Lincoln Club President T.J. Zane to speak. Instead, City Council candidate Lorie Zapf approached the dais.
“Are you T.J. Zane?” Hueso asked.
“I am the female version of T.J. Zane,” Zapf answered.
Zapf is a résumé-fudging, mortgage-defaulting, former marketer of a health-food bar brand that now comes up first on Google with a post titled, “Boulder Bar—Please don’t make me eat these!” That’s worth a (Lincoln) log for the extremely competent head of the city’s most powerful conservative group.
Oily politicians
Other reporters and politicos often wonder why CityBeat gives James Hartline, a hard-line homosexual-turned-anti-gay Christian activist, the time of day, not to mention follow his blog and Twitter accounts.
Here’s the truth: For all the conspiracy theories, blind accusations and noise he injects into already frenzied fracas of politics, the man is an excellent muckraker.
For example: Last week, Hartline turned his sights on Congressmember Darrell Issa, tweeting that the Republican from Vista had accepted more than $5,000 in political contributions from Dennis Wray, who owns the company that produces and markets Astroglide, a popular sexual lubricant.
We’ve heard of greasing palms, but, what exactly is Wray lubricating?
There’s a poo joke we want to make, but we’ll censor ourselves. Instead, just Google Issa’s buddy “Santorum.”
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