My Friends

Arrow Up

Arrow Up
Arrow Down
,
  • Fri
    22
  • Sat
    23
  • Sun
    24
  • Mon
    25
  • Tue
    26
  • Wed
    27
  • Thu
    28
OVERFLOW Aug 22, 2014 A selection of new works by Scott Polach which draws on the history of pluviculture, or, attempts to induce rain artificially. Opening includes a collaborative performance piece from Keenan Hartsten entitled, "Very cool, and refreshing?". 85 other events on Friday, August 22
 
News
How one case study could potentially transform City Heights
News
Former customs agent got more than seven years for smuggling drugs and people into the U.S., but mysterious events are raising questions about the government’s prosecution
Well, That Was Awkward
Spooky hell, urine baptisms and other memories exorcised by the Broadway play
Film
Joe Swanberg’s new independent film starring Anna Kendrick leads our rundown of movies screening around town
Editorial
Formal complaint against the Probation Department shows how far local juvenile-detention practices are out of the mainstream

 

 
Log in to use your Facebook account with
San Diego CityBeat

Login With Facebook Account

Recent Activity on San Diego CityBeat
 
Home / Articles / News / Turds & Blossoms /  Grading the campaign trail
. . . .
Tuesday, Jun 01, 2010

Grading the campaign trail

Our midterm report tallies the poopies and the poppies

By CityBeat Staff

“I know you’d like to thank your shit don’t stank, but lean a little bit closer, see that roses really smell like poo-poo.”—Outkast’s André 3000

The June 8 primary is finally upon us, and now it’s time for T&B’s political theater critics to release a midterm report. Here are the top five turd-winners and blossom-bringers.

The Turdiest

1. Carly Fiorina, Republican candidate for U.S. Senate (3,635 turds). Fiorina raked in the turds with “Demon Sheep” and “Boxer Blimp,” her buffoonish YouTube videos that always backfired.

2. Jay LaSuer, Republican candidate for San Diego County sheriff (3,347.27 turds). LaSuer has two problems: Immigrants and money. He earned turds for misplaced signs at a May Day rally and a few thousand more because he couldn’t explain the accounting problems that put his campaign in the red.

3. Darrell Issa, Republican incumbent Congress member (1503 turds, including one log big enough to cover a 12-mile barrier island). Just because a politician’s seat is safe doesn’t mean it’s OK for him to stop campaigning at home. Turds went to Issa for entertaining lobbyists on boat trips and at Eagles concerts.

4. Mary Salas / Juan Vargas, Democratic candidates for state Senate (526 / 61 turds). Vargas and Salas are grouped together because we jointly awarded them a donkey’s intestine’s worth of manure for a scuffle that broke out at a campaign event.

5. Francine Busby, Democratic candidate for Congress (60 turds). The underwhelming challenger to Rep. Brian Bilbray refused to reveal the names of the campaign supporters who sent her checks for her birthday.

The Blossomiest

1. Jay LaSuer, Republican candidate for San Diego County sheriff (251 blossoms). Of all the candidates in local races, LaSuer picked up the biggest, out-of-town endorsement: Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, the right-wing hero at the right-wing time.

2. Republican Party of San Diego County (153 blossoms, including a 20-foot-tall sunflower). Whether it was their social media presence or their courtroom victories over sample-ballot mailers, the Republicans scored big under Chair Tony Krvaric’s leadership.

3. Steve Whitburn, Democratic candidate for county Supervisor (36 blossoms). We tossed a double-sized bouquet at Whitburn simply for admitting that he’s a former reporter, then an extra dozen when we spotted him at a restaurant learning about transit.

4. Brian Bilbray, Republican incumbent Congress member (30 blossoms). After alienating Hispanic voters with silly lines about what shoes immigrants wear, Bilbray came back with a national media blitz, much of which was dedicated to building consensus with progressives.

5. Felipe Hueso, Democratic City Council District 8 candidate (13 blossoms). Any candidate who stands up for the rights of transgendered octogenarian flashers deserves special recognition.    

Follow Turds & Blossoms on Twitter @turdsblossoms and send tips to davem@sdcitybeat.com.




 
 
 
 
 
 
Close
Close
Close