Down the hole

Queens of the Stone Age

I turned on the radio the other day to find a local FM station stuffing tuneless, toothless new garbage by MGMT in between tracks by Bush and Stone Temple Pilots. This led me to the realization that either A) ’90s modern rock is now equivalent to “classic rock” or B) I had unknowingly stumbled into some horrible time warp in which the worst songs from my adolescence converged with the worst songs from the present.

It caused me to reflect on the more recent esoteric trends in my personal listening habits. During the past several years, I’ve fallen deeper and deeper into this black hole of obscure-music oblivion.

Contrary to what some might believe, it has absolutely nothing to do with snobbery, because, honestly, I think it’d be a dream come true if a ton of people suddenly got into Birds of Maya or Wooden Shjips. But with what other semi-normal human being can I possibly initiate a discussion about Shit and Shine or Billy Bao? I’ve been sucked in, and there’s no way out.

Of course, the underground is there for a reason. Musicians with ideas that are either too challenging, frightening or just plain too weird for the masses needed a space in which to operate, so they created one. This is the breeding ground from which a large chunk of musical progression is conceived. But, it’s music that doesn’t always appeal to the average listener.

I almost feel as if I’ve been forced in this direction because my first true preteen love—mainstream rock—has long since become stagnant. Not that the format was all that forward-looking in the first place, but what happened to tight, hook-filled little albums like Foo Fighters’ and Weezer’s self-titled records? Nobody’s making them anymore.

As much as I’ve received the “whippersnapper” treatment from older music fans, they’re probably right in the belief that today’s rock bands can’t hold a candle to The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, The Who, Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath. And if things don’t start to change soon, I’ll be pitching a tent in the bitter-old-man camp, as well.

Consider, if you will, this hypothetical dilemma: Given a choice between straightforward fare like the Stones’ Sticky Fingers and more bizarre tunes from the same era—say, Silver Apples’ self-titled album, for example—I’ll choose the Stones at least half of the time.

However, when choosing between current mainstream and underground artists, I don’t even have to think twice. King Tuff over Kings of Leon on every single occasion. Moon Duo over Muse, no question.

Maybe it’s a sign of growing older that I long for the days of simpler pleasures—mainstream rock, in all of its glory, can be a beautiful thing. But even my formerly beloved Foo Fighters and Weezer have succumbed to the mundane, both becoming less likeable and more repetitive with age.

So, which bands with maximum exposure are still worth a damn? Well, Radiohead continues to keep listeners on their toes. Queens of the Stone Age have yet to release an uninspired album, and Them Crooked Vultures has at least one more record in the tank. Jack White still knows how to write a killer rock song, even if The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather aren’t exactly living up to The White Stripes’ standard. And, The Flaming Lips, The Black Keys, My Morning Jacket and Wilco are doing things right on major labels, even if they don’t get anywhere close to the number of spins they deserve.

Sadly, that seems to be about it. I’m desperate to turn on the radio or TV someday and hear a perfect, crunchy rock nugget along the lines of QOTSA’s “No One Knows” or Weezer’s “Say It Ain’t So,” but it’s just not happening.

Where are today’s Cheap Trick, Blue Oyster Cult and Thin Lizzy? I’d even settle for something along the lines of Steppenwolf, The Guess Who or Grand Funk Railroad.

There comes a time when enough is enough. I want simple, basic rock ’n’ roll back in the hands of people who know how to do it right. Stand up with me now, or you may find yourself in one of these musical black holes someday. Trust me, it’s not the most desirable place to be.   

Write to toddk@sdcitybeat.com and editor@sdcitybeat.com.