Grading the campaign trail

Welcome to the second installment of CityBeat’s new election column, in which we issue “turds” and “blossoms” to political campaigns for their reprehensible and respectful behaviors.

Time mismanagement

A politician’s gotta make tough decisions about where to go and whom to schmooze. Take District 8 hopeful Nick Inzunza’s rejection of CityBeat and the local ACLU chapter’s invitation to a March 20 candidate forum.

“I know that groups like to do forums as some sort of community service,” Inzunza’s spokesman, Larry Remer, said via e-mail. “Truth is, they tend not to attract ordinary voters. And they are time consuming.”

Instead, Inzunza went block-walking. The forum lasted 90 minutes. Assuming each home has two voters and Inzunza spent five minutes at each, at best, he could’ve visited with 36 constituents in that hour-and-a-half. Approximately 75 voters and community leaders attended the forum. Though many were not directly district constituents, we’ll still issue Inzunza the difference in turds—39 stinkers.

Meanwhile, we accept District 8 candidate David Alvarez’s “deepest apologies” with a get-well carnation: Between an ill wife and a 5-month-old baby, he had to cancel.

The forum was across the street from District 4 incumbent Tony Young’s district office, yet he opted to drive across town to a forum on racism at UC San Diego (he wasn’t listed on the bill of speakers). Young dispatched spokesman Jimmie Slack in his place and, while a proxy is better than nothing, a turd goes to Young for sending someone whose answers rarely went beyond “The councilman’s record speaks for itself.”

Decent exposure

As tropical music seeped in from a Guamanian celebration outside, moderators at the ACLU forum grilled candidates on campaign-finance limits, police brutality and minority-business interests. The audience then took over with questions ranging from “9-11 Truth” to the drunken “Floatopia” in Mission Bay.

We award a blossom to all the attending candidates—Barry Pollard in District 4 and Felipe Hueso, James Wright and B.D. Howard (a youngun’ who was, frankly, bitchy in his e-mails to forum organizers but refreshingly thoughtful in the flesh) in District 8. We also issue each a turd for thinking that “government transparency” simply means returning phone calls.

On the subject of LGBT rights, Hueso unloaded this bizarre anecdote about an 83-year-old he met on the campaign trail:  

“He was wearing a gown, he stood up and he flashed me his sex-change operation. I’d never seen one personally, especially that close, but you know, that gentleman has rights. He’s been married 35 years; he votes. What’s wrong with allowing him to do what he has to do?”

That gem is worth a dozen pink roses. Hueso, brother of sitting councilmember Ben Hueso, also earns a poop for claiming that “name recognition” is a qualification for office.

Iss-man cometh not

District 49 Congressmember Darrell Issa’s political-action committee is throwing its second annual Longboat Key Trip in Florida on April 30, a day of “tropical seclusion, fishing, championship golf and relaxation” with Issa and five other Republican members of Congress. Cost: $2,500 per attendee. On March 15, Issa’s reelection campaign benefited from a $500-per-plate dinner hosted by Microsoft Corp. and other technology interests.

For constituents who’d like to bend the congressman’s ear without the price tag: Sorry. His scheduler says he has no public appearances on his calendar. In that case, we’re sending him a log long enough to cover the barrier island where he’s holding his April party: 12 miles.

Turd’s words

This column’s namesake will be signing his new memoir, Courage & Consequences, at 6 p.m. Wednesday, March 31, at Warwick’s (7812 Girard Ave. in La Jolla). Some liberals may find the title ironic since Karl Rove left the White House without an indictment.    

Follow Turds & Blossoms on Twitter: @turdsblossoms. Send ideas to davem@sdcitybeat.com.