My Friends

Arrow Up

Arrow Up
Arrow Down
,
  • Sat
    25
  • Sun
    26
  • Mon
    27
  • Tue
    28
  • Wed
    29
  • Thu
    30
  • Fri
    31
Wacky Wonky Walk & Kids Festival Oct 25, 2014 A walk and festival featuring a Willy Wonka theme, games and activities everywhere. There will also be Phil's BBQ available for purchase and proceeds benefit the San Diego Center for Children. 87 other events on Saturday, October 25
 
Film
Adaptation of Patricia Highsmith novel tops our coverage of movies screening around town
Theater
Steve Martin and Edie Brickell’s musical leads our rundown of local plays
Theater
A review of Cygnet Theatre’s production of Sam Shepard drama tops our coverage of local plays
News
City’s contract tweaks both tighten and loosen requirements
Editorial
From San Diego City Council and Congress to Secretary of State and all the proposition, we have your ballot covered

 

 
Log in to use your Facebook account with
San Diego CityBeat

Login With Facebook Account

Recent Activity on San Diego CityBeat
 
Home / Articles / Arts / No Life Offline /  Three pervy things that aren't quite porn
. . . .
Monday, Feb 18, 2013

Three pervy things that aren't quite porn

Stoya, Wikipedia and Cowchips prove sex is still driving Internet innovation

By Dave Maass
diagram The CowChips estrus detection system

Any history of the Internet will start with the early investments and groundwork laid by academia and the federal government, then go on to cite the momentum contributed by singular innovators like Mark Zuckerberg. Thematically, a student researcher would be forced into the conclusion that military readiness, private profit and ingenuity for its own sake have driven the rise of the 'net age, conspicuously leaving out one major factor.

Human perviness.

Pornography has long been at the forefront of online culture. Porn distributors have been the first to develop and experiment with new ways of media distribution, from streaming video to secure transactions. Porn pushed the limits of the copyright system and shocked legislatures into enacting some of the most onerous restrictions on expression. On the darker side of the spectrum, it's always child-pornography collectors who are first to experience law enforcement's newest invasive tactics. And, let's face it, there are a lot of dudes out there who first learned to surf with a mouse in one hand, a boner in the other. 

I'm a week behind CityBeat's annual Sex Issue, which you should certainly go back and read if you skipped it, but I can't let Valentine's Day pass without highlighting some of the more fascinating pervy things I've recently come across on the 'net. Donít worry; they're not actual porn—but close. 

Wikipedia willies: I'll admit it, like many pubescent boys, I was a bit of a horn-dog who would comb the pages of medical texts and National Geographic magazines for naked female bodies to explore. Today's pre-teen digital natives have it so much easier, thanks to Wikipedia, where images of genitals abound in the goal of expanding human knowledge. 

One of my favorite online discussions took place on the "Talk" page for the Wikipedia entry for autofellatio and involved whether it's appropriate to include an image of a short-haired blond man, hunched over, with his junk down his throat—why that particular image and not, say, Ior Bock, the 20th-century Swedish mystic who went down on himself as part of a religious ritual.

The two-part final defense from higher ranking Wikipedia editors is priceless: 

"The first is that it verifies that the activity discussed in the article is physically possible," the page says. "Until people saw for themselves that it is possible, there was continuing doubts that this activity was real or verifiable. The second main reason is that an image can help illustrate a subject more efficiently than any amount of words could."

Tumblr girl: I've personally never had much preference for the porn-star genre—too much silicon, too much smoothness, too many over-orgasms—but I do find my intellect is regularly engorged by by Stoya, the Digital Playground performer often cited as adult entertainment's first big alternative star. 

Stoya's blog is a thoughtful, personal account of the porn industry, from getting a Fleshlight molded from her vagina to dealing with overly touchy fans. She posts photos behind the scenes, including fashion shoots and pictures of cats, and posters for her aerial-acrobatic shows, but she also delves into not-sexy-at-all issues, like having a small, gross cyst removed from just between her vulva and thigh. Stoya is at her best when she's examining the philosophical nature of porn and our culture—for example, her fierce opposition to the Los Angeles ballot measure that forced porn actors to wear condoms

Cows cum home: Not too long ago, a writer friend of mine, Nahshon Landrum, commented on the controversy surrounding two rappers who tweeted photos of themselves engaged in various sex acts: Slim Thug was in full-on, stand-up bathroom intercourse, while Chief Keef was receiving oral pleasure. 

"Well, it's an interesting time we live in when Foursquare tells you where your friends are, Facebook keeps you up to date on people you don't even like, and Twitter makes sure you know when your favorite entertainer is having sex," Landrum wrote to me via email after I asked him to re-create the conversation. 

And that brings me to the most awesome thing I've heard about on the 'net in a long time—and apparently it's been around for years. A company called CowChips markets an "estrus detection system" that essentially allows ranchers to track when cows are in heat. You attach a little chip to a cow's back end, then, whenever a bull tries to mount her, the chip transmits a wireless signal to a base station, which then feeds it directly to your computer. In practice, this allows a farmer to track the best times for artificial insemination, but, really, what we're talking about is real-time bovine sex alerts. 

In existential terms, we live in interesting times in-fucking-deed. 


Email davem@sdcitybeat.com or follow him on Twitter @DaveMaass.




 
 
 
 
 
 
Close
Close
Close