I don’t know if you guys heard, but Paris Hilton is a DJ now. Or at least she thinks she can DJ. Before the party starters hit the breadline with their MacBooks, hands held out begging for government-subsidized bottle service and record needles, here are a few parties to check out before the socialite ruins them all with the simple push of a play button. She won’t be pressing it herself, but she’ll be taking credit for it.
On Friday, July 6, DJ Artistic is back for his monthly gig at Bar Pink (3829 30th St. in North Park). Elbow your way through the crowd of True North refugees as club jams and hip-hop classics blast through the speakers. Seize a spot on the dance floor before the inevitable drunken guy begins his attempt at breakdancing.
If you feel like proving to a crowd of strangers that you should never audition for American Idol, Analog (801 Fifth Ave., Downtown) has its weekly live-band karaoke on Saturday, July 7. Pick from a list of classics new and old, like Weezer’s “Undone—The Sweater Song,” and do your best to melt some faces. If the tipsy bachelorettes shrieking through a Bon Jovi tune gets annoying, walk over to Voyeur (755 Fifth Ave.) and get lucky. No, really. DJ Lucky Date will be in the house, spinning electro remixes and originals, like his ode to loose women and their venue of choice, “Ho’s and Disco’s.” Nothing kicks the feminist movement in the charred bra like an offensively titled song that’s really catchy.
If these bass-driven dance parties sound cute but don’t satisfy your inner Jenny Jones-style raver kid, 4th & B (345 B St., Downtown) hosts “#Addicted to Hardstyle” with DJ Caffeine on Sunday, July 8. This caters to the Electric Daisy Carnivalloving club rats who like music to assault their bodies so hard it could incite another round of L.A. Riots. It it sounds painful, it's because it is.
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