Shopping for condoms in San Diego

- Photo by Clea Hantman

It’s CityBeat’s annual sex issue, but I fear that if I were to answer the question “Where can I find… Sex?” I might be committing an illegal act, or three—so, I pass. I could add a “y,” but what constitutes “sexy” is so damn subjective. Witness my friend Becca’s answer: “Bow-legged-ness.” Or Jessica’s: “Ten Acres.” Judging by the sneers I get when I wear my “I Heart Steve Buscemi” T-shirt, I’m thinking my own ideas won’t exactly jibe with the rest of you.

My editors tell me I can also write about love, as if it’s part of the sex equation. “Where can I find… Love?” That’s a question I don’t believe I can answer, an object I cannot scout. I found it 15 years ago at the Live Wire on the corner of El Cajon Boulevard and Alabama Street (and it’s been all roses, rainbows and unicorns since). I have seen some pretty hot guys walking the aisles at REI. Just saying.

What does that leave? San Diego’s secret sex spots? (Say it 10 times, fast.) Yelp actually has that one covered. Really—go look it up!

You don’t need me to tell you where to get wine and roses and chocolate (Actually, I do need to tell you where to get the latter: Eclipse!)

In the interest of safe and yet wholly fun sex, I bring you: “Where can I find… Really good condoms?” Because a truly lousy condom can ruin a perfectly lovely encounter.

Almost 75 percent of condoms purchased are Trojan. That’s a downright shame because even I know that despite 29 varieties, Trojans kinda suck compared with the various brands you can get at some local sex shops—and I’ve been “in love” with the same guy for 15 years. (Unicorns! Rainbows!)

You know who else knows this to be fact? Consumer Reports, the magazine my grandfather used as his buying bible for 40-plus years. And Durex Extra Sensitive condoms have the unique pleasure of having been voted Consumer Reports’ best condoms for six years in a row.  Did you know Consumer Reports rates condoms? It does. Vibrators, too.

You can find Durex condoms at Pleasures & Treasures, still located on University Avenue in North Park, but no longer in the purple house. Now it’s a handful of blocks east in the same brick building as the Water Lady (2525 University Ave.). Pleasures & Treasures also carries the brand Beyond Seven, which didn’t make the Consumer Reports top-10 list but did make CondomDepot.com’s top-10 list—and they tested on college students and Florida swingers, so, well, there you go. In fact, Beyond Seven, crafted in Japan, is a six-time CondomDepot.com winner and is noted for its thin Sheerlon latex and slim fit. It’s highly recommended for the “Average-Sized Man.” (By the way, you can read more about Pleasures & Treasures here.)

But back to Consumer Reports. It extols the virtues of a popular drugstore brand Lifestyles, and notes that Lifestyles condoms are simply more comfortable—and economical—than Trojans. The ultra-sensitive variety is the go-to, frills-free choice, available at Rite-Aid. But for Lifestyles’ various styles (which all seem to be spelled painfully wrong, like “3Sum”), you should hit up The Crypt (3847 Park Blvd. in Hillcrest). It’s here you’ll find the Lifestyles THYN, Lifestyles SKYN and Lifestyles KYNG varietals. The Crypt carries another Japanese brand, Kimono, which also rated fairly high in several polls. Apparently, the Japanese have the whole safe-yet-pleasurable thing down.

It never hurts to have a little lube to go with those condoms, but lubrication is one of those accoutrements that you really should be certain didn’t come from a 99-cent store or even, frankly, 7-Eleven. The Rubber Rose, which recently moved to new Downtown digs (917 E St.), carries the lube that’s been voted “The Very Best” by several blogs—and sells it in an industrial size. You can get 250 milliliters of Pjur Eros Original for $56. The Rubber Rose also carries several organic formulations of water-based lubricants, which pair beautifully with all of the condoms mentioned here.

The only brand I didn’t find on our streets—and in San Diego’s sex shops—was Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction, which feature Princess Kate and Prince Willy on the box. Of course, I haven’t checked Shakespeare’s corner Shoppe yet.

Write to clea@sdcitybeat.com and bookmark her blog: sdcitybeat.com/urbanscout and superclea.blogspot.com.