Formula 69
A racy scandal makes for good sport
It makes the Elliot Spitzer scandal look like a prostitution picnic. Max Mosely, president of the Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA), the nonprofit association that governs Formula One racing and other international motor sports, was shown on videotape last month allegedly participating in a Nazi-death-camp-themed orgy with five sex workers in a posh London apartment.
For his part, Mosely says that News of the World, the British Sunday tabloid that revealed the video on its website, is trying to frame him, and the allegations that he took part in Nazi role-playing are “entirely false” and an “unwarranted invasion” of his privacy.
If you’ve seen the video, however, it’s pretty clear that although Mosely’s privacy was indeed invaded, the allegations that he was getting some kind of fascistic freak on are entirely true.
The discrepancy? Mosely, caught red-hineyed, admits to the S&M “torture dungeon” part, but not the Nazi-death-camp part. Never mind the prison guard and striped prisoner uniforms, barked orders in German and Mosely’s own background as the son of famous Nazi sympathizers. It was a set-up, Mosely claimed before successfully pressuring News of the World to remove the video from its site.
The day after the scandal broke, another British tabloid, The Sun, reported that the FIA would not fire Mosely. “As far as the FIA is concerned,” a spokesman said, “this is a matter between Mr. Mosley and the newspaper.” He added that Mosley’s lawyers were “in touch” with News of the World.
But the director of Britain’s Holocaust Centre is less sanguine about Mosely’s indiscretion and has called for his resignation. Others calling the concentration-camp-inspired S&M role-playing with hookers inappropriate behavior for the president of a major sporting organization include former Formula One champions Sir Stirling Moss, Jackie Stewart and Jody Scheckter, as well as current racer Nico Rosberg.
Days after the scandal broke, the major automobile companies that sponsor Formula One released statements, probably generated by the Hedge-o-matic 3000, an industrial public-relations computer that is fast replacing firms in helping corporations protect their image. Honda asked that the FIA reach an “immediate decision in the best interests of F1 and Motorsport.” Toyota criticized any “behaviour which could be seen to damage Formula One’s image.” And BMW and Mercedes’ joint statement argued, “The content of the publications is disgraceful. As a company, we strongly distance ourselves from it.”
Mosely has responded to the criticism by calling for an unprecedented special conference of the FIA in Paris at a to-be-determined future date. He also fired back at BMW/Mercedes for their own Nazi pasts: “Given the history of BMW and Mercedes-Benz, particularly before and during the Second World War, I fully understand why they would wish to strongly distance themselves from what they rightly describe as the disgraceful content of these publications.”
BMW and Mercedes, you may recall, produced engines used by the Luftwaffe, and Mercedes provided the Nazis—including Hitler himself—with staff cars. And so the iron heel has called the boot black.
I figure Mosely will resign, maybe even before the FIA meeting. He almost resigned from his controversial 15-year presidency in 2004, and rumors had been circulating before the scandal that he might step down before 2009. But should he?
I think, yes. But it needs to go much further. Formula One should be completely shut down. Not because it has been discredited, but because auto racing is overwhelmingly, unrelentingly, fucking boring.
What is Formula One? Cars. Going around and around for hours. Unless you’re lucky and there’s a fiery crash, the excitement level is a consistent zero. You might as well stare at the freeway.
I think Nazi-death-camp-role-playing-S&M hooker orgies would make a better international sport. Hear me out.
First, if you haven’t frantically searched for it already, most of you know you want to see the videotape of Herr Mosely’s Playhouse. Cast the first stone at me if you’re not at least tempted to click here:
www.jalopnik.com/373884/f1-boss-max-mosley-caught-with-five-hookers-in-nazi-orgy-video-scandal
And if this video were still up on YouTube, I’ll bet you 20 lashes that more people would have viewed it by now than have ever viewed more than 20 seconds in a row of Formula One.
Admit it or not, everybody wants to take a peek at a sadomasochistic orgy. Even Israel Insider published the photos.
But most people would just as soon watch the Mac color wheel spinning around on their desktop than cars zipping around a loopy track.
Second, sadomasochistic orgies would out-thrill Formula One by a lap. Consider the ease of inventing arousing rules to amp up the competition. Say the safe word first and you’re eliminated. Break character, laugh or forget the German word for “wiener” (it’s “wiener”), and you’re out. You get the picture.
Finally, this hot, new, truly extreme sport would remind the world that sex may sometimes be shocking, perverse, gross and even a little painful, but, ultimately, the vast majority of sexual encounters between adults—as long as they’re safe and consenting—are kind of silly.
I’m sure you’ve watched the video by now, and I’m guessing your reaction was mostly a mixture of humor and embarrassment. Watching that naked old geezer half-heartedly flip his whip as the mean guard or take it as the naughty prisoner, or sip his cup of tea while the hookers relax with a glass of wine after the big event, hardly brings to mind a plot to conquer the world. It just brings to mind how mundane and commonplace sex is. Mosely may very well be a closet Nazi, but his performance in the video hardly counts as evidence of anything more than him being a run-of-the-mill freak.
So, yes, sack the creep. Not for the hookers or for the sadomasochism or the Nazi-esque role-playing, but for subjecting the world for 15 years to a sport as dull as watching paint dry and then, when he finally does something interesting, trying to deny the public a chance to see it. Come on Mose, be a sport.
Write to dak@sdcitybeat.com and editor@sdcitybeat.com.
Comments
Great column DA, but I disagree with the call to have him removed.
It’s a private sex fantasy and what one does with his private sex fantasies and consenting adult hookers is one’s own business.
Besides, I’m not buying this whole Nazi death camp angle.
For one reason, in the fantasy he is the masochist, so, if there’s a death camp angel, he identifies with the prisoner, not the guard -- which is A. not as offensive, B. unlikely, as there is very little that is sexy about being an Auschwitz victim.
Secondly, it really appears to be a hit piece and fabrication. The power of suggestion is blatantly used against him. In the first scene we are told that Mosely is going to be greeted by prostitutes posing as “Nazi guards” yet, the woman he meets speaks with an English accent and wears a generic skirt and coat outfit which doesn’t say “Nazi prison guard,” any more than it says “naughty school marm.” Doesn’t matter though, because we were told that it was a Nazi so therefore it is a Nazi.
Then there is the language used by the female guard about “crimes committed,” and “life sentence.” These are standard prison terms – not death camp terms. There were no sentences issued to Jews in the death camps. Nobody was told they were getting life sentences. They were gathered up and thrown in the camps without explanation. The language she uses is standard for any prison and not necessarily a death camp.
Thirdly, the power of suggestion is again employed – we are told the prisoner costumes are concentration camp garb, but the striped prison outfits are standard, typical outfits you see in any cartoon or old time movie. It is the quintessential prison outfit. My guess is the hookers probably just picked up the first thing they could find in the costume store.
As for the speaking in German, it is just one tiny, tiny portion of the video. The rest is spoken in English with an English accent. The speaking in German part may very well have been the hookers just trying to sound all forceful and mean. It may very well have been their own idea. It was such a tiny part of the video, I really am just not buying all of this.
In summary, there is really nothing sick or offensive here. It’s just a typical sado/masochistic fantasy with a generic prison for a setting and totally within the realms of "normal" as far as depraved fantasies go.
Oh and what’s the big deal that he had tea with the hookers afterwards. That just tells me he’s a polite john.
Ed,
Glad you liked this one. I have to say that your point that it doesn’t matter what goes in private chambers is similar to my implied point in the column, which was:
“who cares?” and also “HAHAHA”. Your point that he shouldn’t lose his job over the scandal may be right--i don't really care one way or the other about the scandal--but it is unrelated to my point that he should resign for boring me to death with auto racing. On the Nazi stuff, I’m afraid you’re a little off-key, but this is only because i didn't make a case for that in my column, and you made your speculations based on cursory evidence. But i wasn't really trying to prove Mosely is a Nazi or that his orgy had Nazi overtones. He is & it it did, but that wasn't my point. I admit I could’ve made a better case for it, but it wasn’t what I felt like doing with my 1000 words in response to the old wanker’s comedic romp.
My points were mainly:
1. Auto racing is boring, so "yawn!"
2. Sex is funny
3. I couldn’t care less about what happens to the old
stupid f--k.
But since you seem interested:
Max Mosely's father, Walter Mosely was the head of the British Union of Fascists. Adolf Hitler was a guest of honor at Pops's wedding to his Hitler-admiring mother Diana Mitford--the wedding was held at Joseph Goebbels home in Berlin. The Moselys were imprisoned for trying to negotiate with the Nazis during WW2, while Max was a child. When they were released, the family spent some time hanging out with Spain's fascist leader Francisco Franco. Son Max campaigned for a leadership position at Oxford under the slogan "Free Speech for Fascists." Mosely's brother Nicholas claims Max believed that "one day [their father's] policies in the Thirties would be totally vindicated."
At age 21, Max Mosely was fined for obstructing a policeman while he participated in a counter-demonstration against an antiapartheid protest and was said to have been travelling in a truck containing a mallet, three pickaxe handles and six coshes (like a blackjack). These somewhat esoteric weapons are same as those used by fascists in Jewish neighborhoods in the 30s.
Here's a description of the video, cited in a NY Times article, which wasn't shown in the 30 seconds we saw of the five hour orgy: The video showed Mr. Mosley counting in German — “Eins! Zwei! Drei! Vier! Funf!” — as he used a leather strap to lash one of the women. “She needs more of ze punishment!” he cried in German-accented English.
Also, there was a fake lice inspection, which is straight out of the camps and not standard prison stuff.
You are absolutely right that he was, to some extent at least, set up. It was obvious from the video, and it was even reported in the London Times (after my CB column was written) that Mosely was being secretly videotaped. But the evidence strongly suggests, if not outright Nazi role playing, definitely strong Nazi overtones. I think it's practically ridiculous--given Mosely's history, and his desire to whip women in striped prison outfits while screaming at them in German--to suggest that there was no Nazi implication, despite the lack of swastikas on the guard uniforms or yellow stars on the striped prisoner uniforms. But again, I know you didn’t have all the evidence and again that’s because I didn’t report it thoroughly. And again that's because it wasn't what i wanted to do with the column.
i only included the link to the video, by the way, to point out that people are more curious about orgies than cars. I never meant to suggest that it should be the basis on which to conclude anything, other than, i guess, how humorous elaborate role-playing sex is.
and the tea drinking is funny, too.
d.a.
oops. i called pops walter. his name was oswald. i work with a guy named walter and i was talking to him while i was posting. he is not a fascist. he is a liberal.