CD reviews

Jewmongous
Taller than Jesus
(Chow Fun Records)
5.5

Goes well with: Dr. Demento, matzoh, Chinese food on Christmas

Do goyim understand how hard it is to play a boogie-woogie shofar solo? For that matter, do they get why the unspeakably violent acts the narrator of “Jews for Jesus” wants to perform on members of that sect are perfectly reasonable? I’m thinking no. But really, who cares? Jewmongous songwriter Sean Altman certainly doesn’t.

Released just in time for Passover, Taller than Jesus chooses the Chosen People for its audience and couldn’t give a mohel’s leftovers for anyone else. Personally, I blame the hip Hebrew movement of Heeb Magazine for giving Altman the chutzpah to produce songs like “They Tried to Kill Us (We Survived, Let’s Eat)” and “Today I am a Man”—neither of which are as funny as Altman thinks they are. But never mind all that.

The whole album is redeemed by “Christian Baby Blood” (sample lyric: “When Christian scribes revised the Bible/ Ever wise, they devised the blood libel /And anyone who doesn’t think it’s true/Has never tasted Christian babe, au jus”). Stick that on the iTunes mix at Seder this Saturday and find out once and for all who’s actually paying attention during the Four Questions.
—Eric Wolff

Everclear
The Vegas Years
(Capitol)
5.5

Goes well with: the Valley Girl soundtrack, Creepers, a birthday card with a $5 bill

Aside from penning a personal ’90s fave (“Father of Mine,” the “Cat’s in the Cradle” of GenX rock), Everclear’s lyrical themes have been almost laughably predictable. Once again, frontman Art Alexakis is bemoaning some sexy, troubled chick that’ll break yer heart and fuck with yer head. His best songs—“Santa Monica,” “Heroin Girl,” even the faux ballad “I Will Buy You a New Life”—inevitably center on tragically flawed, usually co-dependent, girlie action.

So it’s no surprise that all but two of the 15 tracks on this covers collection feature at least one femme dysfunctionale. Fortunately, the album’s trippy-chick trilogy (Hall & Oates’ “Rich Girl,” Tom Petty’s “American Girl” and Cheap Trick’s “Southern Girls”) benefits from the smarmy, sunny, post-Pixies blueprint laid down by Alexakis & Co.

The twin surprises here are a perky Elastica-meets-Joe Jackson channeling of “Bad Connection” (originally done by brilliant ’80s synth-poppers Yaz) and an appropriately serrated and sleazy tear-through of Tommy Tutone’s commode-poetry classic, “867-5309 (Jenny).” Unlike the pretentious and plentiful misses on Vegas Years—Neil Young’s “Pocahontas,” The Go-Gos’ “Our Lips Are Sealed,” Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” (really?!)—these two transcendental moments shove right past icky kitsch and nostalgia, veering briefly into lurid, quirky, timelessly fucked-up teen soul. Bring over the mopeds-eyeliner-and-purple-Creepers crowd: troubled chicks always welcome.
—Will K. Shilling

Braille
The IV Edition
(Syntax Records)
6.7

Goes well with: Sage Francis, Aesop Rock

Abstinence and piety don’t necessarily mix well with the cocksure confidence found in most hip-hop. With references to Sodom and Gomorrah and “spiritual weaponry,” Braille’s faith takes focus as the primary inspiration for The IV Edition. But there are a few saving graces that offer redemption for the rapper’s fourth solo record on the Syntax imprint.  

The album—and the first four songs in particular—starts strong. The opener, “Beautiful Humanity,” is produced by Ohmega Watts and channels jarring drums and neck-snapping rhythms reminiscent of Aesop Rock’s self-produced Bazooka Tooth. The title track, produced by Marco Polo with a guest appearance from Rob Swift, is a standout single executed with a heavy, pulsating pace.

But the rest of the record feels a little too safe, seemingly incapable of topping the opening tracks. Having each song produced by a different artist also hurts the album a bit, causing it to lose any cohesion or direction. If only Braille heeded the advice he offers in “Counter Attack” (to “fight back… and stay focused”), he’d have listeners eager for a fifth edition.
—Richie Lauridsen